Tadi selepas sholat maghrib lanjut ngaji, pas ditengah-tengah udh adzan isya, berhenti di ayat 33.
Selesai adzan lihat lihat IG dlu sebentar, lalu liat stories mantan bahwa bundanya meninggal dunia.
I feel shock. I know the feel of losing someone you loved so much cause a death, and I know she is very loves her bunda.
I’m trying to call her, she picked up. And I heard sorrow voice over there. She said bunda pased this afternoon after hospitalized 3 days for diabetes. I have no idea to say anything, even to strengthen her but I try what I can.
And after that, I cried in silence.
I remember all the memories, I met her mom once at wedding invitations. She introduced me and I get a warm welcome.
I promised her I’ll come to her house after Ied but things doesn’t work for us, we break up.
She once told me that bunda want to see her married and have a grandchildren, but..
I’m so incapable to make someone happy, bahkan setelah dapat restu sekalipun.
I’m so sad, so sorry about my last relationship, padahal itu sangat berarti.
I calm myself then, continue to read.. and what I just read are ayat 34-35
21:34. Dan kami tidak menjadikan hidup abadi bagi seorang manusia sebelum engkau Muhammad; maka jika engkau wafat, apakah mereka akan kekal?
21:35. Setiap yang bernyawa akan merasakan mati. Kami akan menguji kamu dengan keburukan dan kebaikan sebagai cobaan. Dan kamu akan dikembalikan hanya kepada kami.
I cried, deep, and sad.
Innalillahi wa innaillaihi rojiun.
I know there is no word can express this loosing.
Semoga bunda husnul khatimah, diampuni segala dosa, dilapangkan kuburnya dan diberikan tempat terbaik disisi Allah. Aamiin yaarobbal alamin.
